Everything was going so well. I had started my new modified carnivore diet and felt great. Not only was I adhering to strict zero-carb Carnivore diet but I was also off dairy completely, which had proven to be a huge challenge. The scale was finally starting to reflect my effort after years of struggling to lose weight on no-carb.
With this newfound energy and weight loss, I thought I might try adding an old low-carb favorite back onto my menu. I was also scheduled to give a 4 hour lecture the following day. So I reasoned that the caffeine and theobromine found in chocolate would be the perfect aid in delivering a great performance. So I went to the nicest grocery store in town and picked up a bar of Mint Dark Chocolate. "Man, I miss coming to this nice store to purchase this chocolate. I'm so glad I can do this again." I thought to myself as I grabbed the chocolate bar to purchase.
The next morning, I promptly started enjoying the bar of chocolate. By noon, my lecture started and I felt on top of the world. I felt GREAT. I was incredibly excited that dark chocolate would be allowed in my perfect diet as well!
Life was never going to be the same.
That was a Thursday. Amazing how little work I managed to get done on Friday. The entire weekend was a roller coaster ride. For some reason, I woke up early and could no longer sleep although I'd only gotten six hours of sleep. "My newfound diet must be allowing me to recover faster with considerably less sleep than before." I thought to myself as I woke up and promptly drove to get more dark chocolate for today. Oh, and meat as well.
By the time the caffeine had hit, I realized I was sleep deprived. There was no energy boost this time. Just enough of an effect to prevent sleeping. That afternoon, I would spend time laying in bed wishing I could fall asleep.
The following work week was a struggle. I had no motivation. I didn't care about the work I needed to complete. Come evening, all I wanted to do was sit quietly since falling asleep seemed impossible.
By Tuesday, I felt the lowest I've felt in months. Where did all the amazing benefits of the carnivore diet go? Why do I feel so lethargic? Where's all my passion and drive? I'm a Type A person when I'm eating right. So what the effing flip?
Tuesday was the last time I'd eat any chocolate. Wednesday may as well have been scratched off the calendar too. This is not the kind of person I want to be. I'm not lazy. I'm a hard-working person. So what the hell is this joke of an existence? I went to bed as early as I could hoping I'd finally start to recover the next day.
Today is Thursday. I'm operating at probably 60% capacity but I know I'm still recovering. Why do I always do this to myself? Every time I get in a good routine, I always derail it. I thought I could tolerate dark chocolate given the few amount of carbohydrates. But my sleep has been garbage. Am I even falling asleep at night? Or am I just going unconscious for a few hours at a time with breaks in between? Whatever the case, I'm never eating chocolate again. Fuck that shit right in the ass.
"Why don't you just have a little bitty piece of chocolate at a time instead of eating the whole bar?" FUCK OFF.